"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

 This is the first line of the serenity prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr. What i want to convey through this post is in life it is important to maintain the spark but equally important the serenity to accept the things we cannot change. It is very difficult to maintain this balance. Either I have seen youths with overwhelming confidence to change the world or I have seen dull and dejected aged with are over secured towards the approach to life. With time they have became over protective, frightened or confound. Taking the reference of Chetan Bhagat's speech at orientation programme Symbiosis once & modified with my own thoughts, here I go...

 Nature of a man is always to be happy. He is always excited towards doing new things. He is in such a way programmed to have series of goals which make them alive. I call this excitement a "spark". Where does this spark comes from? I think it’s the way we are born. When we were small we were excited about every little thing. A countdown for Birthday, or a diwali vacation, or a new toy....every little thing. I know how i waited for my exams getting over, or for a final result. And the same excitement was for going back to schools and meeting friends. But with age the spark fades. With all the bitterness of the world and storms of reality, it is difficult to keep the spark shining. Imagine the spark to be a lamp’s flame. The first aspect is nurturing – to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.

 The spark & tingle ness decent with age and is directly proportionate. It is important to be happy most of the time, if not all the time. Its human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact this is I believe success and this success can add meaning towards life. I know that by writing I may not become khuswant singh, Vikram Sheth or Chetan Bhagat, but I know I can go to next level. Just getting better from current levels feels good.

 Goals help us to keep this spark alive in us. Have any goals in your life. Be it any material landmarks. But remember isn’t purpose of life. Balance your life ensuring health, relationships and mental peace. There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions. Have fascination for everything but practice renunciation. Strive for an apple gadget but be happy with Xiomi. It’s all about detaching from material attachment. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

Decision making crisis.

 

How to arrive on any decision

Tossing or flipping a coin and deciding the fate looks more filmy though sometimes acts as catalyst. Life is full of choices and individual face multitude of decisions everyday. Some are easy such as routine and regular and some other more serious like for instance choosing a career.

When situation are more complicated and have long term impacts it's easy to feel unsure and hesitant. If you feel indecisive about something and it's getting you down this might help. It may not be able to guarantee the outcome of a decision before you make it, at least you can know you put a careful thought into it. Remember, when you don't decide where you are going, life will decide for you

1. Don't let stress get the better of you - Don't go with the decision of mind or heart alone. Take your mind with your heart along and make decision.

2. Weigh the pros and cons - list pros and cons for each course of action and then compare them. Sometimes the cons aren't nearly as bad as we imagine.

3. Identify and rethink your goals and values - it's more important to be true to ourselves and what we value in life than to what society thinks for us. At any rate you're more likely to end up with an outcome you're happy with than a regret.

4. Think consequences - while considering each option don't just list the positives and negatives; write down any likely consequences or backfire of any decisions.

5. Talk it out- Get the perspective of your issue with the person whom you admire and follow and think who is prudent.

6. Rethink your options once again – and decide. Once decided never look back to the decision we left out.

 

I have made one question- answer matrix with (100) marks which also might weigh your option and help on arriving any decision.

Option- 1 v/s Option - 2

 Q-1 Whether you like it/enjoy doing it?

Ans:    (Yes - 20, May be yes-15

            No - 0, May be no - 5

            Not sure-10 marks)

 Q-2 Weigh decisions pros & Cons (Give marks as  per your analysis in multiple of 5)

 Q-3 Risk involved in decision

Ans:    (High – 5

 Medium – 10

            Low – 20)

 

Q-4 Whether the decision will fulfill my dreams/goals?

Ans:    (Yes - 20, May be yes-15

 No - 0, May be No-5

            May be – 10)

 Q-5 What will be our future in selecting decision?

Ans :   (Secure - 20, May be secure-15

Insecure - 0, May be insecure -5

Uncertain-10)

More the mark - more inclination towards the option/decision.

 

 

Chhel chhabilo Gujarati

 

Unmistakable characteristics of Gujarati people. 

01.Every autowala, taxiwala, grocerywala is our 'Kaka'.

02.We never go to Office, we go to Hoffis!

03.The first rule of money - never use your own!

04."Su nava juni" is our version of 'wassup'?

05.Be it 7am in the morning or past midnite, gathiyas are always welcome.

06.We keep an "ELARAM" not alarm to wake up in the morning.

07.No party is over without a round of GARBA.

08. You are incomplete gujarati, if sensex doesn't excites you. 

09.We call all types of noodles "Meggi"!

10.When someone asks about a person, we say GENTLEMAN 'MANAS' chhey.

11.We have a PhD in bargaining, by birth.

12.We can speak any language of the world, in Gujarati!

13.We don't have feelings, we have FILLINGS!

14.Jai Shri Krishna is our own version of Hello and Good Bye.

15.All our conversations begin with kem chhe, maja ma ne? and ends with: "koi saaru investment batavo ne..."

16.We shout our guts out on international calls, thinking they can hear us better that way.

17.Swimming is not for us - we call it 'chhab-chhabia'.

18.For us Electricity never goes - only, Light does!

19.We don't call people, we COAL them.

20. It's ok to spent extravagantly on marriage, food or outing than on education. 

21. Chhas is our Beer!

22.We are everywhere, all over the globe - deal with it...

23.We go to movie HOLE and take outside SNAKES for refreshments.

24.Mount Abu is our nearest Switzerland.

25.If a Gujju starts Koffee with Karan, he would name it "Chhas with Chhagan".

26.A true Gujju looks forward to eat Thai, Mexican, Italian, Chinese and Undhiyu at the cousin's wedding...

27.At least 50% of the contacts in the phone book end with the word BHAI/BEN

28.Being Punjabi means more chapati, less rice; being Mallu means less chapati, more rice. Being Gujju - just at more yaar, 'shu farak pade chhe? (what difference it makes)'.

29.Gujjus believe Narendra Modi is the solution for everything - from Fashion style to Nation's progress.

30.Vile Parle and New Jersey feels like home - Apduj chhe...

31.We will spend 1000 rupees for a 10 rupee free gift, free ma malle, etle maja aavi jai...

32.We eat home made theplas with chhundo (pickles) and athanu on business class flight.

33.We can do Garba on any song in the world.

34.Falguni Pathak is Britney Spears for us.

35.After having chaat, bhelpuri, sevpuri, we make sure we ask for extra puri and then a discount.

36.Order soup 1 by 2, U get more quantity - be smart!

37.If it is beeg (big), edible and free, go on dude, eat it...

38.Mumbai+Gujarat+London+Amerika = whole world. Nothing else exists for us.

39.Everyone is invited to a Gujju home for lunch, and fed like u have come from the groom's side and like you are hungry from weeks.

40.If all of a sudden U hear a dhoom machale ringtone or a loud scream or a loud chit chat amongst a group, immediately assume that you are amidst Gujjus.

41.Hindi humko 'jara bi nahi faata hai'.

42.Age 15 or 50, your parents will always refer to u as their 'baby' or 'babo', 'Munno' , 'munni' or 'lalo', 

43. CATBURY is the generic name for chocolate!

44.We take the constitution very seriously, everyone is called Bhai and Ben.

45. If U do not go for Navratri, U didn’t exist.

46.We all own Reliance collectively...

47.Dandiya is our Prom.

48. We don't enjoy festivals, we get mad during festivals. 

49.U pack according to a 5N/6D holiday when going for a one day picnic.

50.Time spent at a party - Dancing(10min) Chitchat(10min) Dinner(100min)..

51. Where even salt is called 'mitha' and seeing off ends with 'avjo' (come again) is the sweetness of language

Yet proud to be one.!

Not just a year older, but a year better !

                        However, we boast about being least cared, whatever we claim about dwindled excitements, Birthdays are not just another day! It makes us feel special deep down the thought and reminds it’s definitely not the common day. Birthdays gives a muse on countless blessings we have received, thousand reasons to be contented, to be grateful for being alive & healthy and thankful to receive serenity to know the reason to celebrate. Being obstinate, hide the birthday notifications but the thought is recoiled eventually that ‘We all hide to be found’. We all ultimately love to be wished. The flow of wishes though mostly accustomed & out of reciprocal relations does not debilitate to make us feel special and accomplished. Suddenly life looks fuller than usual with no apparent reasons. It’s such a nice feeling to be sprinted into thoughts of many; though in a flash moment sounds keen & appeasing. Thank you all who took time to wish me, it indeed made me feel a little more special.💖

 

                                                                       😎😎😎

Colors of Holi soaked in memories !

 સમય પણ કેવો અજીબ છે,

એક સમય હતો જ્યારે સંબંધો થોડા હતા પણ લાગણી ગાઢ હતી, મિત્રો થોડા હતા પણ મૈત્રી ગાઢ હતી. આજ મિત્રો અનેક છે પણ દોસ્તી ને શોધવી પડે છે. એટલે જ તો કદાચ What's on 'your' mind? કહેવા પણ Facebook  પર જવું પડે છે.

જ્યારે બાળપણ મા રંગાવું ગમતું નહી ત્યારે પરાણે છેતરી ને પણ લોકો રંગી જતા... આજે કોઈ વાર રંગે રમવાની ઇચ્છા થાય ત્યારે કોઇ પરાણે રંગે અથવા તો જેની સાથે રંગે રમવું હોઈ તેવું મળે નહીં. સમયાંતરે વિખૂટા પડેલ ‘પરાણે રંગવા આવતા’ એ મિત્રો હોળી ના તહેવારનુ મહત્વ સમજાવી ગયા. બહુ ન 'ગમતા' આ તહેવાર ને પણ આજે એ લોકો ના કારણે 'miss' કરું છું જે લોકો બાળપણ માં પરાણે કલર લગાવવા આવતા અને તે રંગો આજે આટલા વર્ષો પછી પણ ઝાંખા નથી પડ્યા. એ લાગણીના કલરો આત્મા સુધી કદાચ હવે પહોંચ્યા હોઈ તેવું લાગે છે ! બાળપણમા જ્યારે એ મિત્રો રંગ લગાવવા આવતા ત્યારે 'થોડોજ લગાવીશું'  'કાચો કલર છે સાવ' તેવું બોલી છેતરી જતા. આજે જ્યારે એ દિવસો યાદ આવે છે ત્યારે વિચાર આવે છે કે એ દિવસો ના કલરો અને લાગણી બંને કેટલા 'પાક્કા' હતા! અને એ 'છેતરાવું' પણ આજે કેટલું વ્યાજબી અને Nostalgic લાગે છે. પિચકારી ની છોળોથી ઉડતા રંગો હોય કે લાગણીથી તરબતોર ફુવારા, ફેર ફક્ત સમયનો છે.

 ધુળેટી નિમિત્તે શુભેચ્છાઓના મેસેજીસ વગર પણ એ હોળીઓ 'હેપ્પી' હતી.

 

 

The joy of being in thirties !

Father and his Reading Glasses

Father and his Reading Glasses

Father, like almost every other fifty plus-something government employee, had two pairs of glasses – one for reading and another for distance vision. That was the trend back then, when people didn’t really have any other choice.

Hii I am Diva and this is the story of me and my father. My family considered my teen rebellious phase to be a problem, but Father’s glasses were an even bigger problem, because he kept losing them more often than I lost my temper. And guess whose job it was to look for them-mine, of course! I was the youngest in our family but everybody seemed to have something against me. Grandmother thought I was too wild for a girl; Mother thought I was too argumentative and adamant; and as for my sister, that I was her sibling was problem enough. I, on the other hand, thought that I was simply unlucky enough to be stuck with the wrong family. The only person in our family who did not seem to have a problem with me was Father. So I really had no reason for not doing whatever he asked of me, even if it was repeatedly looking for his reading glasses. Father claimed that I was the only expert who could find his glasses, and I was secretly proud of my skill.

One morning during the summer vacations, my sister and I had a big fight over whose bed should be near the window. We often rearranged our rooms and it was filled with posters and quotes on walls. On hearing our shouts, my mother came into our room and started scolding us. Just when I was about to infuriate, suddenly father called, ‘Diva, I can’t find my reading glasses. Come here and help me find them.’

Mother paused for a moment and said, ‘Go look for Father’s glasses first or else he will be late for office.’ I exited the room and ran down the staircase muttering to no one in particular, ‘When anyone has work, I have to do it- but when I want something, I am always asked to compromise. Just because Sister has her board exams, am I supposed to adjust with her on everything? What has sleeping by the window got to do with exams?’ By the time I had finished grumbling, I was already standing before Father. He looked up from the newspaper and said, ‘I can’t find my glasses Diva.’ Being proud of in mind and considering me like Agatha Christie, I enquired, ‘where did you last see the glasses and what were you doing at the time?’ Father thought for a while and replied, ‘I was cleaning car when glasses were with me.’

I made a wry expression with narrowed eyes and a twisted mouth (it was my assumption of expressions of Agatha Christie detectives solving crimes) and then announced, ‘You must have kept the reading glasses on the dashboard of the car instead of the long –distance ones! Father obediently handed me the keys and I procured the glasses from the very place I had said they would be in. Bingo ! Father patted my back and said, ‘I don’t know who will find my glasses when you would not be there one day. I smiled with pride. By the time the two beds were by the wall and the study table was by the window with no one winning the obstinacy.

Days went by and each and every mission to look for Father’s glasses became more and more extensive. Sometimes I found them in Grandmother’s medicine drawer; sometimes they were in the newspaper rack, sometimes near the washbasin, sometimes on top of refrigerator and sometimes even inside it. Uff! Now, my father was generally organized man but reading glasses seemed to be the exception. Sometimes, I wondered if the glasses had magical feet to walk away at all these strange places. But I was sure of one thing- I was the only one who could find them. Some years whizzed past and after my sister it was my turn to go to a college hostel in another city. I was very excited and looked forward to the days ahead. My only worry was how Father would find his reading glasses now without my help.

By the time I completed my graduation, Father too was retired. Grandmother had passed away by then and my sister was too married in different city, so Mother and Father decided to relocate. They were happy to have at least one child living with then and I was happy to have the comforts of home again. It was enjoyable in the beginning and then it became a way of life. I had grown up from being a rebellious teenager to a working adult- I actually had a job post my MBA. Life had become so busy that sometimes I came home just to eat dinner and sleep. Slowly the stress of work and competition to survive made me grumpy and irritable. My temper flared up at the slightest provocation and sometimes, without any at all. My mother constantly complained about me being a fussy eater. I was again behaving sometimes being like teenager. One day, I was unnecessarily arguing with Mother over about hyped topic of my age and marriage when I heard Father call out the same words after a long time,  ‘Diva, I can’t find my reading glasses, come here and help me find them.’

 I smiled. I had understood the meaning of that call by now. It was not only I who could find glasses. I realized by now that I was the only one who was asked to find them! Anger and stress management may sound like a big corporate phrase, but Father had healed me with a simple therapy – when my fuse threatened to blow, I just had to search for his reading glasses.

People Nowadays !

 

The cozy life of others, told through their pictures and reels.

Oh, you don't have the lovely window shades someone has. It is snowing somewhere, wish you could be there. It is dappled sunshine elsewhere, you wish you could be there too. How did someone make it to the beach or the summit? Oh, look, they still have their families with them. Someone says they are unwell, but you see the fine china they are having their soup in and strategically placed furniture. 

Someone has a new swanky car. Someone has a degree. Someone has dogs and someone has a baby. Oh, someone is crying for help, no time for that. Look there is a new meme.

Scroll, scroll, scroll to forget you have personal commitments. Scroll, scroll, scroll, to forget your faucet is leaking. Scroll, scroll, scroll and you forget the tea or food your mother made lovingly for you. Scroll, scroll, scroll, there is a bird tweeting by your window. Scroll, scroll, scroll, you have no time to stand and stare.

Relinquishing Dipavali

 

The grandeur of Diwali has gone as suddenly as it had arrived. As the most adorable festival bids adieu, fierce silence again dangles in the atmosphere and streets. The lights and decoration, hustle bustle on roads, noises of relatives, sparkles in the sky, euphoria in the houses all seen to be settling down. The clothes and jewellery have already made their grand appearances and have been tucked in cupboards for next big occasion. Festivities slowly recede into dim & distance and routine twirls up into motion.

 As winter and darker nights approach, the way we are positioned in our planet with respect to Sun, certain things change from diwali. Traditionally, with colder days in northern hemisphere there comes slowdown and sluggishness and we become susceptible to negative forces. It is from these days our relationship with sun changes and it’s time to rejuvenate our habits in particular way during these days so that we don’t really hibernate and sink. Along with various mythological stories and myths around festival, scientifically Diwali prepares us for some more energetic things around us so that we don’t become part of slow down and ask us for some promises.

 Let the light in our heart remains lit, let the spirit of celebration always continues in our work. However, strong be the negative forces we will not slow down on our roads and lose our sense of balance and purpose of life. Let us transcend our biological tendencies and assert our evolution. Let rangolies of our heart always fill with beautiful designs. Let the echoes of firecrackers reverberate our enthusiasm. Let butterflies of stomach flutter and glow our heart and face. Let the happiness and laughter mark its presence every morning. Let us attempt to meet our loved ones more often; I am sure we can.  

I am Diwali, with all nostalgia wish you happy festive spirit all year around till I come back next year again.

 

Regards,

Your most decorated festival.