Friends #: 2

Thanks Punit. Its once again proved that friendship and wine gets tastier with time. However apart we live, however different our lives are; I still smell the same bonding and best satisfaction in taking your words. Thanks ;-) U are best. Cheers to my oldest friend--Punit Oza.

Friends........in a way.

In cold winter night looking at the clear sky & twinkling stars my thoughts just travelled some 20 years of my life in jiffy moment. That's what it is amazing about our thoughts. It can go to anywhere & everywhere in a while without any restrictions.

I remebered all those friends who made mark to my life and was happy to know that I had such a long list but at the same time made me low when I realised no one was permanent. Most of them whom I loved are seperated either my distance or by situation. But they all are my best buddies without whom life would be very dull. It is said "Friendship should be like pendrive - easy to keep and difficult to search if lost" [Although pendrives also carry viruses easily is a different thing ;-)]

With broken family and being introvert & coy I never mixed up in relatives. From my early childhood my only companions were frineds. Through them I seen the world, through them I enjoyed, through them I learned, through them I made my persona. To begin with Sintu, u were my best neighbour. Punit oza, Jayesh, Karim, Jay, Parthav, Mitul u all are my friends since i used to pee in my half pants.

(To be continued.........)

EXPECTATIONS

"Expectations" - Dictionary told me it is "a belief that something will happen". And I interpreted that this "belief" as the root cause of lots of problems. Expectation is an monster to any relations. It is said by famous gujarati poet...'Harindra Dave' if i m not mistakened " Koi no prem Kyare pan ochho nathi hoto, apani apekshaoj vadhare hoy chhe" Humm.. looks good in listening. Equally true, if it's implemented, one can never feel low in his/her relations. But unfortunately its an character of saint which no laymen can apply it completely. If anyone is claiming he is an hypocrite or he is ignorant about his hidden self. (Check out Johari window-Again, an MBA Jargon)

Where there is love expectations are bound to peep in knowingly or unknowingly. Yes, its magnitude may differ from person to person. Parents expects from their children, wives from husband, girlfriends from boyfriends, students from teachers, bosses from employees or a devotees from their God. Even the purest relation friendship is no free from expectations. However unselfish your friendship might be at the end even atleast for the sake of happiness or good company there comes expectations. And in a way looking radically having expectations are logical too.

Expectations only dries up when love withers away or when one is no more related to us. And if we are not living to the expectations of others again & again either the other is showing excess love or we are indifferent towards his/her love. That does'nt mean one should be overburned with our expectations. Its an mutual understanding and abstract cordination between any relations. Good correlation builts up strong base of relation.

No matter however practical & educated we are we can'nt resist ourselves from expectations completely. However harsh the naked reality is we all are selfish to some extend.

P.S : The topic is drafted as per my stand & any counterviews can be commented.

IT HURTS....

• It hurts....when u realize you could have done better in your life.


• It hurts.... when you find the trusted ones breaking your trust.


• It hurts... when u realise you are surrounded by selfish influences and your friends are no exception.


• It hurts.....when u find your stupidity is been considered and chuckled as your foolishness.


• It hurts..... when u find yourself in a fix grappling whether to hold on something or to move ahead.
  
• It hurts.....when u u are not upto the expectations of your dearest one.
  
• It hurts.....when u find the person whom you loved solemnly contemplated you always as an option.
  It gives pain and bruises when........."IT HURTS".

CHILDHOOD NOSTALGIA

For every person his/her childhood is special in its own way. Everyone loves to cherish their golden old happy days and we often hear people always like to "Re-Live" those moments. But for somehow this doesn't go with me. I for varied reasons believe I am much more happier than my childhood days. Ofcourse there are some sweet memories lingering like time spent with childhood friends and living with lots of siblings. Apart from it there is nothing really worth to cherish.

I don't want to become that small kid who used to lost in black hole every evening staring at the sky with zillions of questions in its eyes, sometimes dejected with shy, stammering speech & horrible atmosphere around.
Subject & title goes oxymoron.
Check out two of my favourite snap of childhood....I also do not have many.....:-(

Enjoying Failures

For somehow principles of "The Secret" never applied in my life. When I wanted something desperately, it never turned up. This time same thing is repeated. And yet another failure is knocking on my door. Universe somehow don't conspire me to get that thing. These failures are always hard to swallow specially if it's irreversible. Sometimes we have to accept our failures because of its "TINA" effect. ("There is no alternative"; HR Jargon) We also cann't learnt from such type of failures or can make it success in future, as it doesn't involve any mistake & its just depended on our fate.

But anyhow willingly or unwillingly we have to accept it. We cann't get everything we wanted. If it is, life would have been soo dull. There should be some motivation to run. Easily achieved things are never valued. Isn't it ???? Or if sometimes is achieved naturally we taken it for granted. It is also equally true after achieving our dreams/ desires we feel "Is this all I wanted???" This is life sweetened but not stirred well. Hence start enjoying the strivings and efforts to reach goal. Your happiness will get guaranteed. :-)))

Love -o- Meter

Life is stuck up with lots of problems to add this new one --"Love". Yes, my loveometer soared right on top to 180 degree & its decending down to complete the full circle.
Introspecting the feeling further, many things can be churned out from it. You can call what call love when your mind is preoccupied with her thoughts almost 24 hrs a day (yes even in ur sleep), when you get smarter how to find new reasons to remain in her touch, when your heartbeats runs faster on finding her accidently, plan your talk with her & ending up with goof ups and all such things crazy...(Jesa filmo mein hota hai, ho raha hai rubaru..) Its when all the good looking girls on this planet fails to attract you. Nothing excites except her thought and even your sexual desires go into hibernation...Strange...but sweet torture.

Its strange to mention it in a blog but its good to love someone isn't it?? And after all its for some few people only.. When we hate someone we can easily blow trumphet against him/her but when we love someone its even difficult to tell the loved ones. How strange and intricating our nature is...My arguments to defend my feeling can be jotted as follows:
• Its a natural feeling (Atleast to common persons like me) You cann't put it in logical way. Somebody cann't be entered into your heart with careful examination/ test checks. If it is it's not love its ur "corporate recruitment".
• Its not needed one should love back to u. Its not a business of give and take. Still if u cann't stop loving, you are certainly in love.
• This not at all mean one should not even try to woo your love. Remeber the quote "whenever in doubt...DO IT" comes to my mind. Don't repent for rest of life just because you hesitated to express your feelings...
Her simplicity, cutness, ignorance and innocence (that's what atleast I would like to believe) perfectly darted right in the centre of my heart. Just got clicked....Lets see what the fate has in store......................

"Fictional Work"

Contrary towards my Title line, All character in this work are ficticious. It doen't relate to any person living or dead, any resemblence of charcter is co incidental & unintensional.

From several days Slok felt an unusual uneasyness in his body. Some kind of mysterious curiosity was fluttering from his face. Normally he was just a next door ordinary young boy but from last Monday, he is not in his full swing & looks perplexed most of the times. No, he already passed his puberty age long ago and it was definetly not physical hormone change he was worried about. Then, what was the thing that troubled slok??

He use to get up early (which he normally hates), always seen in circles of matured people to gather courage to clear his confusion and was having some wild dreams...(Don't misunderstood with "wet dreams"). His symptoms were corroborating his fear. And at last he gathered his full strength & put his confusions, doubts & questions to one of his experienced collegue. Verdict came out within fraction of time which "jolted" him............

"PILES"
Yes he was diagnoised without any guess. It was as fearful as some monster with creaking horns & nails to him. To him the disease was more abhorable & shameful than AIDS. Never in his clan got such disease. Slok was shattered with utter grief and the world to him came to an end. God punished him for he used to laugh, conceit and make fun of people with this disease.

Stories about excruciating pain & plethora of advice was flown towards him whoever was intimated with the disease. People told him never in his life he can enjoy mouth watering spicy foods. He must now have to restrain outside junk food also. It was like an end to Gourmet's paradise. He was also cautioned with the perils of disease....From 1st stage to 5th stage of the disease. That day Slok realized that there can also be more than 3 stages of any disease...And most pitiable part of the disease is not curable completely. You always have to be bound with restrictions. And the worst part is when you have to go to doctor for check ups. Its like being raped by a gay. Resonating images itself was aghasting for Slok.

With these worries (ofcourse playing bigger war in morning) he started eating less. Observing his weak body it looked he will get vanished alive. People near him began to ask about his weak body & pale face. Girlfriend started doubting his faithfulness being reclusive towards her. Family started doubting his conduct. His disastrous face could'nt be cam'ouflaged into smile.
Amidst all these, disease began to worsen and finally insecure prick decided to tread to doctor for help. With heavy heart & utter failure he bagan his slow but careful steps to hospital. His name was called and doctor to his worst expectation told him to put his pants off..............And then..............

Suddenly eyes lides were opened and he almost jumped into his bed. Hertbeats ran @ Kms per hr & sweat drops rolled from his face even in the cold morning. Yes, thanks a ton to God it was a dream...A NIGHTMARE rather. He bubbled and thank God for he was all perfect. He felt as if life is full of blessings. And he got up to ready for office and smiled scarstically for he was saved from a "rape". ;-)

A wake up call !

There is a time to make things happen and there is a time to let things happen. But one should recognise the blurred line between the two. Pressing the right button on right time is the essence of successful life. Many a time, "TIME" is the biggest panacea for our problems. It becomes worthless to loggerhead against time. Going "hammer & tongs" can spoil the situation. Time set right all your problems / worries. But every time you cann't stick to this strategy. Punching on right time is all important. For some people this comes naturally without concious effort. For them everything happens on right time. Their lifes are like perfectly designed step by step even without their concious effort. I call their life a "Plain Vanilla" life i.e with no complexities. (I invented the word from "Vanilla call option). I envy them.

Averting some decissions may be temporary solution to your problems. But at times you finally have to "ring the bell". Some intricating knots of life, only YOU have to solve. You cann't pat your heart everytime by saying "ALL IZZ WELL" . As always I am in dizzy everytime the moment to take crucial decision comes. Why the hell, to every decision i see flip side simultaneouly. I have learned to put quantitative weights on evaluating every situation but lack enough vividity to have qualitative weight. Once the time is gone, it is incorrigible.

...And I wish you all to learn quantitative & qualititative methods of putting weight to your problem and solve the equation. My wake up call is alaramed ! Com'on Kairav snooze option will no longer do......

Playing "Resolution" game

Its hard if not at all impossible to stick on resolutions. For me its like conquering Mt. Everest. Unlike everyone I make resolutions almost very frequently & break it even more hastily. Making & breaking resolutions turned out to be my favourite game. Giving it a rational thought, laziness is solely the culprit for back tracking any resolution. It has eventually turned into my biggest weakness. Doesn't matter "There's always I will do next time excuse"!

Some of the resolutions that has featured continously (like long running shows of all time great movies) in my list ever since I learnt to make resolutions are: -

1. Work out & built a perfect shape body. Exercise. Realized to put on some weight and groom the body. This is what I craved since I was half-pant wearing tod.

2.Waking up early :- The resolution I make almost everyday! Due to my everlasting lazyness it has turned out a serious joke uptill now.

3. Try to bathe everyday & put some concious effort on looks. Like wearing decent clothes, take care to shave regularly, have some facials (I believe i can look fairer) etc...etc...Reason- I always knew with your intelligence or character you can never make any girl fall for you...Isn't so???

4. Read & refer my study books loaded in shelves before pests eats it away or either it gets alien to my memory.

5. Learn to cook before it gets too late. Your culinary skills can help you live without getting married. I can atleast eliminate out this shittiest reason to get married. (Yaah people get married for such reasons too! Strange??)

6. Decide to hogless, sleepless and work more. (Getting miserably failed everytime)

7. To prepare seriously on some comp exam. My mom always nags me on my lazyness & bicker me that i could have done lot better in life, If i would hv shed my lazyness & work towards some goal. And I even believe it :-(

8. ********************************************(So what?? I keep patting my mind everytime I break this resolution, "Everyone do that"!)

9. Learn to drive car. (Perhaps easiest resolution I could figure out in my list. I know it will be achieved)

10. Working out on speach & overcoming disorder. (I know i can do it without any therapy)

11. Be in touch with family relatives & learn to socialize with them. My alienation in family circles is appalling. Some hv already started to give "Who the fuck are you" type of expressions on their faces when I produce fake smile on any functions.

12. At last to follow my resolution has also became one of my resolution. (Oxymoron! Lol..)

13. Roz kehta hun ke bhul jauga use aur roz ye baat bhul jata hun.

Being flippant, I have crossed every limit of not sticking on any resolution. I hope some day I get hold of my life & succeed in "actually" following my resolutions. Till then - Never mind this time, the next time ;-)

P.S: - As per the advice of Jayesh, Picture is loaded in Blog. Hope it turns out nice.

To -

ONE word is too often profaned
For me to profane it,
One feeling too falsely disdain'd
For thee to disdain it.
One hope is too like despair
For prudence to smother,
And pity from thee more dear
Than that from another.

I can give not what men call love;
But wilt thou accept not
The worship the heart lifts above
And the Heavens reject not:
The desire of the moth for the star,
Of the night for the morrow,
The devotion to something afar
From the sphere of our sorrow? - P.B.Shelley

The beautiful poem is all time favourite of mine since my schooling days. The poem reflects the idealistic philosophy of poet for the word "Love". Poet know's he cann't get his love. It is like moths desire to reach sky or the night (darkness) craving for light. Still he loves like a worship which even heaven cann't reject. Its like striving after unattainable. Soo romantic. This reminded me of my friend Rishi telling with his peculiar tone, If someone loves us, we are lucky that we are "lovable". To accept his/her love is a different thing.

"To Do" List

This is something close to my heart. I know this is emulating topic from "Things to do before I die" (Dasvidaniya fame) but personally believe everyone should give a thought on it. My spark is loosing its aura after quiting formal studies. Hence made it a thought to write on the topic. Wishes are something which can keep one going. So here is my wishes cum "To Do" list of my life.

1. To keep my mom happy for the rest of her life.(Challenging task)

2. To quit my present job & have enough money to follow the work of my interest. (First of all to articulate my interest is a different thing.)

3. Have one vactaion to Honolulu.

4. To built up macho 6-8-10 packs (whatever) body.

5. Deleted

6. To have my own "Self Employed" charity foundation.

7. To have "Gift of gab" one day. (Find it out if you don't know the meaning of the phrase)

8. To love & to be loved by the people in my Fav. list

9.****************************(Too personal to publish on blog..And a lil weird too...sorry)

That completes my list. I want to repeatedly reminces myself my "To do" list to sustain my lingering purpose for life.I have conciously manifested to keep the wish list limited. Too long list can kep you uncontented & smaller one can endanger your purpose/aim for life. That's my ideology without being judgemental. What u have to say?????

As You sow, so shall you reap.....???

This has been quite a week of sufferings and recouping from injuries. I have rare accidents in my life. My life generally is not yo-yoing having extremes. (Life too had became a nerd like me!) But Sunday's evening was different.....Nasty accident was waiting for me. On empty road I saw one old man lying with his sooter down. (Probably would have rolled off the pothole....its common in my town, anybody could have guessed given there was no one else) Old man was also waiting for someone to come to help & sympathise. My screwed luck made me to see the sight.

As a reponsible citizen I showed my chivalry to help the man get up. I leaned to pick up his scooter (whose engine was still on). The lever end of the handle was slightly pulled and rear wheel rolled over my left leg and the scooter was bashed with my pride possessed new Activa. Smashed the indicator. Before I could realise within dollops of seconds crowd gathered (funny accidents on roads always titillate more) and cocophony of scarstical sounds waved through my ears. It was a kind of clumsy situation (which often I land into) where I do not know what should I speak. Embarrassed (as if I abetted some murder) with my dumb act I moved quickly trying to avoid damn quetions from crowd. With creaky legs I went home & It reminded me of 9XM "Aur bangaya Bheegi Billi". Leg got swollen & middle finger of toe got almost fractured.

When I narrated the incident to friends they laughed on me (naturally!) This is the price one has to pay for being "goody". I guilted on my act to invite unwanted trouble. But the incident made be to muse..

What can be our reasons to help others?? ---Do we need to flatter god?? Do we want to earn meritious points so that can get good birth next incarnation?? Or just it is because fear of religion or washing sins?? I don't understand intricating "Karma na Sidhhant". I Act on anything what my conscience tell me (good or bad) That doen't mean to violate basic civics although I may be tempted. I act within my self and so doen't need to think benefits. To me, helping someone should come within. Although dumbass; follow your heart.On a lighter note ----

With my lame leg standing I enunciate the oath : "I Kairav Jasani, solemnly resolve & pledge in my full conciousness that I would persevere to help victims on roads & would choose to tread this radical path discharging my duty with devotion without expecting any favor (not even from beautiful girls --Oh Really???) even if it would cause me physical damage."

P.S : I am not here for giving any Guru Gyan, and if by any means you felt such.....Blame my writings.

Living in Past can be good...!

I was attending one motivational kindda lecture. The orator narrated, "Today is yours, you can't change past, you don't know future. Hence live in present as it is key to happiness. I was supremely tempted to ask her "What if past gives us happiness"?? As expected most of the times I couldn't ask..(Although I hate to mention this.)

Yes, there is no dearth of beautiful things in world. You just need to know where to look for them. Everyone have their own good times as well as bad past memories. It's just matter where you plug your connection. Trying to spare some time within me & chanting sweet past refines me. To me, yesterday is not cancelled cheque but an 24 x 7 ATM machine from where you can always cash in happiness. It has also got one extra advantage - no one can take away this asset unless ofcourse a nervous breakdown. (If at all your nerves betray you, you don't need to clinch any happiness. You will always be happy)

The only thing one has to do is avoid lamenting that those are passed. Expect less & rejoice past. Some of my past memories which I would like to harped on...

• Quality time spend with childhood neighbourhood friends.
• Time spend with cousin brothers & sisters.
• Bapuji for pampering me endlessly.
• School friends: Unselfish relations, I love that eh?
• Teachers Pet..(Is that me???)
• Laughing aloud on silly things. (Who cares? Laughing is important right?)
• Last day of exams..(Felt like world war came to an end)
• Getting the highest grade in school and outstripping competitors. (Felt like winning an oscar).
• Winning tag of "good type boy" in family consistently.
• Crazy dance in middle of roads. (Lalbha you were a freak! We both needed to develop our careers in choreography.)
• Winning Mono Act competition for years in school. (there were lots of alternate careers for me you know, it was only i realised it later.)
• Dying to see porno pics. (Now even that doesn't excite me any more. And yeah that doesn't mean to doubt on my testosterone levels)
• Night outs with friends. Trying out all prohibited things by a taboo like taking drinks, smoke,non veg.
• Emulating wannabe cool attitude. (Later realised you cann't change a nerd into dude)
• Taking tuition classes. Thanks to my cutiest students. (Its unbelievable; even I could teach!)
• College crush. (Dash, you are still on my top chart)
• Rommies & friends of MBA class (I know many of would read this, so one has to mention you know)
• Persistent curiosity versus eternal laziness.
• And above all Childhood innocence!!!

Try it, your past is not always dismal and unsatiating........."Live in past" ;-)

Regards

On 61st Republic Day - Dedicated to "GREAT" Gujaratis

Hii all. The other day when I was busy engaged to my work, a friend called me up to give some "Good news". Proud voice from the other end came "Mare ghare babo avvano chhe" (I am going to be a father). Yes I know its customary in Gujarati to call a coming child "babo". But somehow that pharses ruffled my mood & without congratulating him I spurted on him "How do you know it would be a BABO and not BABY". Those words stamped to my mind whole day.

Here are some statistic of lapsided sex ratio.Sex ratio of India is 927 females, For gujarat the ratio is 919. Child sex ratio 878. These dwindling number forced me to look the families near me. Most of the recent cuddles are boy child. Surely something is going fishy.The issue has been rhapsodised much by the govt. But something is going wrong. Unravelling the root cause I came to conclusion that our social customs, Bull shit values & lame family system is responsible for it (of which we are soo proud.)

I don't understand what the fuck these marons will achieve by having a male child & what they will loose if they have girl child. Male child runs the clan argument is a total shit.Expecting a care from a son in old age is purely a business.Yes, this kind of dilapidated thinking still prevails in our society after 60 years of "REPUBLIC INDIA" Even from younger generation of my age I have heard "Amare to banne sarkha (Boy- girl equal)" but somewhere in corner of their mind coveting for boy child. Bloody hypocrates. They don't know they are landing up in big trouble in future. Forget the consequences morally also how can we do this kind of hineous acts.

And yes we only are responsible for the dwindling statistics. Poor people will not have such fortune to create imbalance. (Highest sex ratio in gujarat is in Dang - Tribal population). This is gruesome...Shame India Shame......

Week in an "Art of living"

The only inspiration behind writing a blog, is to make my friends aware about my life & routines. (Its a better way to to remain in a "mass touch"). Hence round of applause to all my friends viewing my blog...... Last week, I attended Art of Living shibir. I would like to share my experience over there. It was a basic course & according to me basically meant for depressed & dejected persons desperately seeking happiness. What motivated me to join only God knows. It was although in my "to-do" list since long. Perhaps I was fed up with my routines & want to make myself believe I am still alive. Some 60-70 people attended the shibir. Most of them were pot bellied middle aged trodden down under the worldly pressures. These different creatures came up with different purposes. Some attended the seminars just because to attend such seminars nowadays are in vogue. There were also some over enthu people which made the shibir more interesting.

Basically, the very purpose of this shibir is to make people learn "how to live happily". It tries to remove all negative thoughts & its just how to fool ourselves to remain happy. We always knew these kind of blah blah..But the shibir gives it a shot to this. And it genuinely makes difference though only for a week. They just try to teach us "Yoga" & certain basic exercise. They instill a kind of peppiness in all the sadist people gathered. You are also required to do some childish stuff which u would start enjoying slowly. Aged people particularly like such kinda activity as they have lost their intrest in life & never expeienced such thrill. (Though they would make a face whenever their children doesn't become serious. It is rightly said "Do we have to become soo serious in life?? Can't we become sincere without being serious in life??".) All people come here to ignite the lost spark in them on the contrary they simultaneouly responsible to blow the spark out of their children's life.

I don't know exactly what mass histeria is but one experience such mass histeria kind of thing when one attends the seminar. Every resolutions starts with an overwhelming enthusiasm but fades away like flood. One needs to stick to "vrat" in order to grow. Same applies to this course. But anyway one should experience this kind of things. Who knows you could pursuit your "Happyness" there!

P.S :- Any comment therein is welcomed. Pardon the amateur for any lacuna...

Lots of Love,

Kairav Jasani