Part II ......Unlocking wedlock Continues....

"A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument"

• Life is all about living for some one..There's no charm in all worldly pleasures at some point of time. Singledom shapes into tiresome after certain age. You can enjoy all worldly pleasures only with your hand locked in a hand. Learn to see beyond your nose with permanent relationship.
• Marriage though looks restrictive in nature, or looks a gamble or risk to tender prospects, its turns into liberation if followed with spiritual sense. Though mutual understanding and knowing each other is a continued process. It requires lot of patience, tolerance and flexibility at the same point of time.
• There can be stage, where married life become monotonous, restless, frustrated and perplexed. There can be a time where you find not possible to live together. There can be difference of opinion on every single subject and you feel like hell staying longer. But all you require is little patience, respect, love and care. Linger over your happy times and things can be soughted out. Its all about "we" over "I"
• You can have your own creation i.e your own child...perhaps the biggest purpose for which an institution of marriage is invented ! With your own family unit, one gets complete. 
• Girls can legally blame all blunders of their lives on their husbands after marriage :-D They will receive official right of complaining on any subject of their lives to their husbands ! 
• Can have all craziest fantasies  with your partners..Lol ;-P
• You are now put in those "trusted" category. I have heard once soft humour....people don't trust unmarried to such an extent they even don't rent bicycle to them. Forget the other things !!
• Practicing celebacy is such a passe and hypocratic. Remember virginity is not at all a pride. Its just lack of opportunity.. :-P
• Cherish the companionship. Create memories. Add surprises. Face troubles. Explore each other.                                                                Marriage is fun..Enjoy it..Be married !!                Now after reading the above if people get tempted to tie their knot or smiled on their decision of getting married read the next part......................Who knows how miserable it will turn out to get yourself married ;-)  hehehahahuhu   

Don't worry GET MARRIED... ;-)

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

                           Joke apart... Marriage - some courts it some dodges it....With the fast changing and competitiveness around people nowadays don't want to confine themselves in marriages knuckles.. Thanks to our culture people here are still low urbane and prefers to get settled down at some point of time in their life... But actually You don't have to confine yourself to a cave and shun relationships to experience true liberation.....Liberation comes with marriage if you are with right person. Marriage too can become spiritual* 
(* Conditions applied)

          I remembered a joke....In every marriage functions my relatives used to pull my cheek and say "Now its your turn" Being annoyed in every funeral I attend,  I feel like to pull their cheeks and say " Its your turn now" !! Its a very personal & confined decision. I personally feel its very important to get married. Maturity comes with marriage. Its like..Don't waste your life on yourself. Either you do something for the welfare of mankind or get married.. Marry and you take care of people other than yourself. It will help to grow for sure. "If God had intended us to be alone, there would be more pleasure in massaging our own shoulders"

It will be equally interesting to look pros and cons of being in permanent relationships.. Lets examine what is being achieved

• Its like laddoos in both hands..If it works out, you will lead a smooth and pleasant life and if does not work out, you could focus on your karm and become liberated and wiser. Either way you wins
• You got to bear with your in-laws..This develops your interpersonal skills ;-)
• You definitely learn to attend your in-laws functions whether you like it or not !! This develops your patience and helps to face any unwanted situation of life..
• Any harsh words from your superior or boss is now bearable and flown from one ear to other. Marriage is like an ego crusher !
• On serious note, marriage helps to unleash one potential energy. You learn to take responsibilities. And its the best thing about marriage. You learn to live for others. 
• Your sexual energy is channelized towards dedicated partner. It will help to concentrate on your work and your potential can be used more productively..either fending off unwanted attention or seeking it.

Joke time : "The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”

• You can retrieve to your higher spiritual goals with your partner more comfortably...
• Once you settled down slowly you start to love your life and being responsible will start to take calculated risk...from business to any personal matters.

(to be continued...) 

Two-three points taken from suggestions..

1. Language will be taken care of and will be put it in simple way..

2. Definitely update blogs regularly (Subject to being fit mentally ;-P) 

A Protagonist Puppy !!

I always used to a feeling of repulsion and disgust towards  people keeping pets...Pets in the house, birds in a cage and fish in a fish-pot never fitted into my mind. Human race since long have "used" animals for their personal self interest. I believed it as okay following Darwin's theory for "survival for existence" People keeps cow, buffalo, goat, sheep, hen for their means of livelihood. But keeping pets, birds and fishes as living mannequin was as heinous to me as   committing a crime.....

But as in life we would face many uncertainties and unwanted clumsy situations, the fate was going to encounter me with this ordeal...On one sudden dark night i was introduced with new member in my family...A Puppy..He was defined me as "Labrador" breed....whatever !!! I call and recognize him as simple DOG...A dog, who is an animal and got life..Who has their own set of feelings and their own existence..Barely month old white furred trembling with strangers and in new home... Might me missing her mother & kins...The story started and left me in a pensive thought....With baffled looks around new species the puppy began his life. Never ever law of nature must have created him to keep in dungeon house...

The strange habit of keeping pets intrigued me to no end !  No matter however you shower your love on it after all they are made for what they are. Show love and compassion on animals don't possess their freedoms. Flowers looks nice on plants, they are not made to pluck !  Birds are made to fly freely in the sky...fishes are made to swim with no boundaries... 

Since ages dogs are claimed to be best friend of humans but humans can't be friend of any other species ..Its only about claiming ourselves "being human" :-(

I can see missing "someone" of his type of his species in his waterful eyes..Whenever he is tied his cock-a-hoops  call his life is in tenterhooks..Hie every rattled bark he calls to set him free...With his head between his two front legs sitting dissapointed complaining the creator. All vibes fails every time since he is not familiar to communicate in our language. Perhaps with times setting him free will also hurt him as he is not adopted towards its natural growth...Volley of questions and doubts still lingers in my mind. As such humans loves mankind animals love their "animal-kinds" Its the basis of "herd" mentality and doctrine of law of evolution...

I know this kind of fragile beliefs have no place in this obscene world... Is this my superfluity or whether I see "ME" in "HIM" ???

Anyways "Happy Diwali to all pet lovers "

Story of an undeterred Struggle

My blog is very close to my heart. And I use to write it for myself. Its my compendium of memories....

How can this cheerful memories be complete without cheerful peoples of my life???...I wanted to share the valiant story of rags to riches of one such person very close to my heart..."HETAL GOHEL"

                                           It was somewhere in Aug 2007 I met with Hetal for the first time. I still distinctly remember my first meet with him at some eating "dhaba" in Ahmedabad. His small town upbringing was dripping from every consonant. A typical gujarati medium student coming from small village was evident from every gesture. I often wondered how he managed to get admission in HL-MBA?....And if at all he is in...How will he get survive? Soon I realized MBA was all about being practical, extrovert, marketing yourself and a game of communication...Hetal Gohel was from Sheth Vadala a very small village near Upleta. I am sure no one in our class would have heard this place name earlier. His struggle started itself from the village he hailed. Most of the urbane upbringings could never imagine what struggle a middle class student of rural background undergoes. Unlike every other people Hetal was not in his tender age. Completed B.Com, M.Com and wasted 2 years with some computer course in Mumbai and MBA preparation in Ahmedabad. Life in Ahmedabad was also very tough for those who do not have enough penny in their pockets. Money can'nt buy happiness but at the same time it definitely helps to attract people to remain happy.

                                        Though there was not nothing explicitly common in us but soon  our seriousness attracted and we became friends. With his simplicity and Midas touch of humour soon hetal was becoming fav amongst us. I am the witness of his struggle. I have seen him taking meal one time a day to save money, walking 2 kms fro from college, avoiding parties, sharing college books, avoiding unnecessary trips to home. It is always said perseverance always win. It is not at all important how intelligent you are or how well you have scored in exams....It is never say die attitude what wins.  Hetal was simply incessant and use to say me, "we are born for struggle Kherubhai" After two years of struggle and a gloom in job market everyone would have frustrated and drop their weapons but as ever Hetal continued his struggle and manage to take job in a share market firm. With his buoyant spirit he continued to upgrade his knowledge. His quest to learn ,positive outlook, and openness to mingle with every kind of people made him successful. The above picture is of Hetal as Asst Manager in Cosmos bank Ahmedabad. Today he is Forex Manager in corporation bank Gandhidham. I consider him most successful in terms of graph of success amongst our batch-mates. Who ever could have imagined a small town gujarati boys could reach to such level who at once was fumbling to speak single line in English?

                                  Today when some one comes to me for career consultation I always give example of Hetal and use to say its ultimately attitude decides our success. Although clueless, will to win makes us win. No matter where you come from, who you are, how smart you are or what is your background. It is the struggle what makes man successful.   I am the witness of his life go through.. God definitely gives return those who word hard in their life. Its just that he doesn't share his calender with us..Man who at once found hard to hire auto rickshaw will be travelling in swanky car......Man once use to share one bed room with 5 room mates will be living in luxurious penthouse and in soft couch. Though this things do not make him successful. It is his spirit to loggerhead with situation makes him successful. Sooner or later it is one who thinks can win, wins.. Love you hetal !!! You will be always to look upon !!! 

આ મન પાચમ ના મેળામાં !!

            નાનપણથી જ જન્માષ્ટમી Favourite ફેસ્ટીવલ રહ્યો છે...અને એનું એકમાત્ર કારણ  એટલે "મેળો"..મેળો એટલે  આનંદ, ઉલ્લાસ, રોશની અને થનગનાત નો તહેવાર..શ્રાવણ મહિના માં ચારે બાજુ ખીલેલી પ્રકૃતિ ને માણવા નો તહેવાર. અને જન્માષ્ટમી  ની ખરી મજા સૌરાષ્ટ્ર ના યુવાનો ને પૂછવી પડે...પછી એ શેરીઓ માં મુકેલ રોશની હોય, ચોકે ચોકે મુકેલ ફ્લોટ હોય, શોભાયાત્રા માં નાચવાની મજા હોય કે મિત્રો સાથે મેળા માં જવાનો આનંદ હોય...મેળો આજે પણ દિલ ફેક જુવાનીયાઓ માટે નું  ડેઇટીંગ મીટીંગ નું  હોટ destination છે.. જન્માષ્ટમી જેવો થરવરાત  દિવાળી માં પણ જોવા નથી મળતો...જાણે આખી દુનિયા પોતાનું ઘર છોડી બહાર આવી ન ગય  હોય???  એમાય મેળો તો જન્માષ્ટમી નો USP ગણાય....જેને સૌરાષ્ટ્ર નો મેળો નથી જોયો તે surely કંઈક miss કરે છે.  જન્માષ્ટમી નો ઉત્સાહ રાંધણ છઠ થીજ જોવા મળે છે...ઘરે ફરશાણ મિઠાઈ  બનાવાની વાત હોય કે પરિવાર મિત્રો સાથે ફરવા જવાની વાત કે પછી નિર્દોષ પત્તાનો જુગાર જન્માષ્ટમી ની વાતજ નિરાળી છે.     

             મારી નાનપણ ની સાતમ આઠમ ની યાદ એટલે બાપુજી સાથે સાયકલ માં આગળ બેસી મેળામાં જવું...મેળા માં તો બસ જાણે બાપુજી સાથે જ જવાય..મનની મરજી થી બસ એજ ફેરવે....દર વખતે ગોંડલ ના મેળા ની એજ જૂની arrangement..જે જગ્યા એ ઊંચા ફજર ફાળકાઓ, ખાણી-પીણી ના સ્ટોલ, જાદુ ના ખેલ, મોત નો કુવો એની એ જગ્યા એ એ હોવા છતાં મેળા માં જવાનો એક અનેરો ઉત્સાહ રહેતો. ગોળ ગોળ ફરતી આંખો માં જાણે વિશ્વ સમાય જતું. દુનિયા ની વિશાળતા ઉચક નીચક ને ફરતા ફરતા જોયને થતી..મેળા ના એક ગેટે થી બાપુજી ની અંગાડી પકડી ચક્કર લગાવી બીજા ગેટે થી બહાર નીકળી જવાનો રોજ નો ક્રમ. જેટલા દિવસ મેળો ચાલે એટલા દિવસ. વચ્ચે રોજ કુતરા, ગધેડા ના શો જોવા, બંધુક થી ફુગ્ગા ફોડવા અને ice cream ખાવો. અજ હતો મારો મેળો. શહેરી લોકો નો મેળા માં આવી ગરદી  કરવાનો ટાઇમ થાય એ પહેલા ઘરે પાછુ આવી જવાનું.

સાબુ ના પાણીના ગોળા હવા માં ઉડતા જોય તેને અડવા જાણે હદય માં ઉડતું. રંગ બેરંગી લાઈટવાડી દડી, nitrogen ગેસવાળા ફુગ્ગા, પીપુડા, શીશોટી, લાઉડ સ્પીકર, અવનવા રમકડાં, નામ લખાવેલ કિચેન આ બધું જાણે કુતુહલ બની રહેતું...

           જેમ જેમ મોટો થતો ગયો તેમ તેમ મેળા નો ઉત્સાહ પણ ઘટતો ગયો...પૈસા અને ટાઇમ આવ્યા ત્યારે સ્પાર્ક જતો રહ્યો...મેળા ની ચીચીયારી જાણે  ઘોંઘાટ લાગવા માંડ્યો..બીજા યુવાનો માફક મેળા માં તૈયાર થયેલ ફટાકડી છોકરીઓ જોવા નું logic પહેલે થીજ મગજ માં  ફીટ થયેલ  નહિ..બીજા માટે જે હૈયે હૈયું દળાય નો આનંદ મારા માટે મુંજારો બનવા લાગ્યો.મેળા બહાર કોઈ ગરીબ છોકરા ની ભોળી આંખો માં પૈસા ના અભાવે મેળા ની મજાઓ ન લય શકવાનો વસવસો દેખાવા માંડ્યો. ધીરે ધીરે મેળા માં લઇ જવાવાળા મિત્રો પણ વિખુટા પડ્યા અને બાપુજી પણ...આજે જયારે મેળા ની બહારથી પસાર થાવ છુ ત્યારે પણ બાળપણ નું તાદસ ચિત્ર ઉભું થઇ આવે છે. મેળાને માણવાનો સ્પિરિટ અને થનગનાટ પણ એ સાથે બચપણના રંગીન ચડ્ડી-ટીશર્ટની માફક ટૂંકો થઈ ગયો છે. હવે મેળો ‘સદતો’ નથી, ને મેળામાં જવા માટે કોઈ પોકારતું પણ નથી.

હજુ પણ મેળાના વળતા પાણી થયા નથી. ચબૂતરે જેમ પંખીમેળો ઉભરાય એમ ગામેગામ ભરાતા મેળામાં ‘માનવ મહેરામણ’ ઉમટી પડે છે. પણ હવે એમાં ગામડાંના લોકો વઘુ હોય છે. શહેરી લોકો કાર લઈને કોઈ ડેમ કે હિલ સ્ટેશન હંકારી જાય છે. પૂનમ અને અમાસના મેળા તો ઠીક, આકાશમાં એનો ચાંદો જોવાનો સમય કે ઈરાદો કોની પાસે બચ્યો છે? લાઈફ ઈઝ મૂવિંગ ફાસ્ટ, બડી. કેરિઅર બનાવવાની છે. કમાણી વધારવાની છે. હરવા-ફરવાનું તો જોયું જશે! જલસા કરવા માટે કમાવા દોડતા લોકો પાસે પૈસા આવે છે, પણ જલસાનો સમય ખોવાઈ જાય છે! આમાં મેળો? સો ચીપ! સો ડાઉનમાર્કેટ! છી! ક્યારેક ફરતા ચકડોળના આંટા સામે જોતાં જોતાં મનમાં ચક્કર આવે છેઃ એક દિવસ આ બઘું અલોપ થઈ જશે? ટીન્સ ઓફ ટુડેને કોલેજ કાર્નિવલ, ફૂડ ફેસ્ટિવલ અને ટ્રેડ ફેર ગમે છે. એમનું ગુ્રપ જ જોઈએ. દૂસરા કોઈ નહિ! સર્કસની જેમ ડિજીટલ મિડિયા મેળાને પણ ઓહિયા કરી જશે? પબ્લિક મેળાની ગંદકી અને ઘોંઘાટથી ઝટ કંટાળી જાય છે. બાળકોને ઉંચક-નીચક કરતાં કાર્ટૂન નેટવર્ક વઘુ ગમે છે. મેળો કદાચ આઉટડેટેડ મનોરંજન છે!

મોલ. મલ્ટીપ્લેક્ષ, ઇન્ટરનેટ ને   યુગ માં મેળા નું મહત્વ ઘટ્યું હોય એવું લાગે પણ હજી એટલીજ માનવ મેદની ઉભરાતી જોવા મળે છે....માણસ ભેગું થાય જ્યાં એજ "મેળો"

 માણસને માત્ર પ્રકૃતિ જ ગમે છે એવું નથી. માણસને ભલે માણસ સાથે રહેવું નહિ ગમતું હોય… માણસને માણસ જોવા ગમે છે!

courtesy: Jaybhai's blog.

"Free"-dom of minds

Msg beeped today morning which made me awake.....which read "Happy Independence Day " (If u r married than plz ignore this msg :-D) All through the day SMSes thronged and all the ebullient spirits were suddenly awakened...(which will last for a day) Our patroitic and feeling of nationalism spurts only on national festivals. Being patroitic and remembering our national heroes on these days are in vogue today..It has became more of a day to flaunt tri colours on face,putting symbolic flags, wearing khadi clothes, attending I-day functions and playing prtriotic songs on gadgets.. (though just for a day) Hypocracy has always being in our blood whether we accept it or not.

I am not against any celebration for our independence day but the question is have we justified our freedom in true sense? There is no point in reiterating the same age old saga of our independence without converting it into a growth saga..It has became celebration of our freedom against colonialism..More than half of the world was colonialised & had their freedoms. Most of our generation had grown up in free India..There is nothing to be proud if after 64 years of freedom we are still in chukles of many barriers...The questions we have to ask ourselves and then celebrate I-Day are :
* Have I utilised my freedom in contribution towards progress of my country?
* Have I made myself civilised enough?
* Have I paid my taxes and aloofed myself from every kind of corruption?

* Have I given freedom to any new thoughts?
* Have I tried to kept my country clean and abiding my duties?
* Have I broaden my thoughts and given space to other's freedom.?
* Have I understood the responsibility that comes along freedom.?
* Have I made myself free from all discrimination in true sense?
* Have I made myself free ? (Quote from Jaybhai's sunday column aptly fits "Khari swatantrata e ke jyare bijane bahar 'HA' kaheti vakhate apani jatne andarthi 'NA' n kahevi pade!)

These questions intrigues me to no end. Freedom doesn't mean people can pee at public places or beside the roads..Freedom doesn't mean spatting in bus or train..Freedom doesn't mean prerogation to throw garbage on road. Are we proud of these freedoms??

Without any concrete growth of our thoughts to progress its not mere enough to celebrate independence day. I-Day should be a day to dust our old thoughts and make a way fro new outlook..Along with unfurling our national flag, let our mind also unfurls from all barriers..

On this day make a thought is India free from poverty & corruption? Are we free from rigidity & discrimination in true sense? Are we following everything what we are showing? Are we free from our selfish self centeredness? Have we raised any voice against injustice? Are we true to our conscience? Are we really always meant what we express on independence day?Are we free from hypocracy that I am free from above all?

If above answers are in affirmative then go on... my dear fellow countrymen...

"HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY"

Friends #: 2

Thanks Punit. Its once again proved that friendship and wine gets tastier with time. However apart we live, however different our lives are; I still smell the same bonding and best satisfaction in taking your words. Thanks ;-) U are best. Cheers to my oldest friend--Punit Oza.

Friends........in a way.

In cold winter night looking at the clear sky & twinkling stars my thoughts just travelled some 20 years of my life in jiffy moment. That's what it is amazing about our thoughts. It can go to anywhere & everywhere in a while without any restrictions.

I remebered all those friends who made mark to my life and was happy to know that I had such a long list but at the same time made me low when I realised no one was permanent. Most of them whom I loved are seperated either my distance or by situation. But they all are my best buddies without whom life would be very dull. It is said "Friendship should be like pendrive - easy to keep and difficult to search if lost" [Although pendrives also carry viruses easily is a different thing ;-)]

With broken family and being introvert & coy I never mixed up in relatives. From my early childhood my only companions were frineds. Through them I seen the world, through them I enjoyed, through them I learned, through them I made my persona. To begin with Sintu, u were my best neighbour. Punit oza, Jayesh, Karim, Jay, Parthav, Mitul u all are my friends since i used to pee in my half pants.

(To be continued.........)

EXPECTATIONS

"Expectations" - Dictionary told me it is "a belief that something will happen". And I interpreted that this "belief" as the root cause of lots of problems. Expectation is an monster to any relations. It is said by famous gujarati poet...'Harindra Dave' if i m not mistakened " Koi no prem Kyare pan ochho nathi hoto, apani apekshaoj vadhare hoy chhe" Humm.. looks good in listening. Equally true, if it's implemented, one can never feel low in his/her relations. But unfortunately its an character of saint which no laymen can apply it completely. If anyone is claiming he is an hypocrite or he is ignorant about his hidden self. (Check out Johari window-Again, an MBA Jargon)

Where there is love expectations are bound to peep in knowingly or unknowingly. Yes, its magnitude may differ from person to person. Parents expects from their children, wives from husband, girlfriends from boyfriends, students from teachers, bosses from employees or a devotees from their God. Even the purest relation friendship is no free from expectations. However unselfish your friendship might be at the end even atleast for the sake of happiness or good company there comes expectations. And in a way looking radically having expectations are logical too.

Expectations only dries up when love withers away or when one is no more related to us. And if we are not living to the expectations of others again & again either the other is showing excess love or we are indifferent towards his/her love. That does'nt mean one should be overburned with our expectations. Its an mutual understanding and abstract cordination between any relations. Good correlation builts up strong base of relation.

No matter however practical & educated we are we can'nt resist ourselves from expectations completely. However harsh the naked reality is we all are selfish to some extend.

P.S : The topic is drafted as per my stand & any counterviews can be commented.

IT HURTS....

• It hurts....when u realize you could have done better in your life.


• It hurts.... when you find the trusted ones breaking your trust.


• It hurts... when u realise you are surrounded by selfish influences and your friends are no exception.


• It hurts.....when u find your stupidity is been considered and chuckled as your foolishness.


• It hurts..... when u find yourself in a fix grappling whether to hold on something or to move ahead.
  
• It hurts.....when u u are not upto the expectations of your dearest one.
  
• It hurts.....when u find the person whom you loved solemnly contemplated you always as an option.
  It gives pain and bruises when........."IT HURTS".